Thursday, May 17, 2012

Homophobia is natural.

Watch this shit. I am about to show you some social kung fu.

Homophobia is natural.

Yep, you didn't read that wrong. Disliking or fearing gay people if you are straight is a completely natural thing. It is inbred to us. As living organisms and more importantly mammals, we have been genetically encoded to fear and hate what is not like us. It comes from a distant time when things that were not like us did silly things like attack, maim and sometimes eat us. It is an evolutionary mechanism and exists in almost all areas of the animal kingdom.

Ever bring a new cat into your house when you have cats that have lived there? It's not a pretty sight, I know my cats have attacked each other when one of the cats they were born and raised from is away for an extended period of time. Which tells me that either cats are not great at recognizing their own kind of my cats are dicks. Dogs will growl and bark to protect their territory, they will bark at anything. Any fucking thing. I mean a car, a bird, a cat, a shadow, a car, a plane, another car. If it is not dog, guy I know or food, forget it. Even the most laid back of dogs will lose their shit at the sight at some thing or people, they just can't avoid it.

The problem of course is our brain.

Our brain is so developed that it sees and forms patterns where there aren't any. For example, what is the next number in this list? 1,5,13,22,47,99. I will give you the answer when I am done talking.

So we see these patterns, these waves of things that we identify with. White, Black, Christian, Jewish, Democrat, Coke drinker, Right Handed, Trekkie, etc etc etc. We group ourselves into these social groups so we have a tribe an identity, a place to belong.

Then we hate everyone else.

Which is kinda stupid because it is a waste of a perfectly good hate. We invent these bunkers to hole up in all Waco style, daring someone to drag us out of, and then just radiate mistrust like a space heater. Do you know what the difference is between a Caucasian, a Negro, an Asian, a Hispanic and a Native American is? Biologically nothing, the only difference is the words I used to describe them. As a race we are a fantastic creation. Full of wonder and amazement and capable of so many incredible feats. We have split the atom, moved mountains and walked on another planet. We have dreamt infinity, cured the plague and at times have startled ourselves with our own capacity to love.

But inside we are all still frightened cave dwellers cringing from the thunder, hating all that is not us because it is one day going to kill us.

Homophobia is a natural reaction to a natural condition. Humans are not the only race to have these feelings, we are the only race that shuns other members of our tribe because of it. There is no real cure for homophobia, none that is going to quickly work. People will always be uneasy around us and there will always be those few that cannot tolerate us. I'm ok with that, because I know a few things they don't.

I know that God loves everyone. Not some, not a few, but everyone. He is a push over when it comes to fucking up and like every good father out there all he ever asks of you is to apologize and to do better next time. I know that the Bible was written by man to control man. It is from a time when people needed to know that their actions had consequences, when they had to believe there was an angry god looking down on them screaming at them to do right. It is a guide book for an age that has long passed, and though the sentiment of it endures, the specifics of everyday life today cannot be taken from that book. And I know the truth. The big surprise that in the end, is going to wipe out homophobia and one day let us all live as one.

Sooner or later those people will die.

Evolution takes care of its own and the same way I don't piss on things to claim them mine or growl at people as I walk by, I know that we, as a race, will one day outgrow that reaction and move onto something else. Maybe we will hate hybrid humans, maybe we will hate clones or maybe we will hate aliens. But one day the human race will look around and not see several different camps of people, they will see one race. And it won't matter what your skin color is or your sexuality or even who you pray to, because we all will know its going to the same place.

You might say I’m a dreamer, but I'm not the only one. I hope one day you'll join us...

See? You figured out what I was going to say before I ever finished it. Patterns, it's all just patterns in the end.

We will endure as a race, and we will survive together. We will outlive this hated and intolerance, leaving the haters to die a lonely and miserable death. We will not remain huddled in that cave, because we came out of it. And we found fire. And we sailed the seas. And we went to the moon. This is how I know we will get past this, because no matter how scared we are as individuals...

As a race, we are incredible.

So next time you see homophobia, don't get angry, don't let them hurt you. Know you are looking at a dying race and this is their last gasp of air as they sink deeper and deeper into the tar pits. You can take some pleasure as you watch them drown in their own darkness, but try not to gloat ok? We need to be better than that. So one chuckle and move on.

Nothing to see here, just the future.

PS: There is no next number, I typed them at random. If you found a pattern, congratulations. You made something out of nothing. Now you know how bigots come up with the rational for their behavior.


  1. But inside we are all still frightened cave dwellers cringing from the thunder, hating all that is not us because it is one day going to kill us.

    I am so proud to know you John Goode. It is an honor! Rock On my friend!!!

    1. Awww thanks Sammy...and thanks again for getting my cat hooked on Coke zero.

  2. John,

    My friend (little brother even) - the truth will set you free. Shortly after it pisses you off.

    Good job.


    1. Wait truth had me locked up? oh hell no!

  3. I'd said I love you, but someone else (who is also incredibly wonderful) has said it first. Sooo....I loves you (added the "s").

  4. Go you! And I agree with the first comment---you are brilliant :)


  5. Your kung-fu kicks serious ass. Excellent post.

  6. I did stare at the list of numbers for a minute trying to figure out the pattern before giving up... damn you for that :)

    1. One, I am sorry for that. Well not all sorry it is funny.

      And two, it kind of makes my point. You started to see a pattern right? There was kind of a kink between them but you couldn't get them all to fit. This is how people go from, gay is bad to all homosexuals are going to hell. It is a series of conclusions they make by trying to force data into a pattern that agrees with their way of thinking. It is why it looks so insane to the rest of us who don't share their point of view.

      Ok I am more sorry than I was when I started but I still chuckled.

  7. Thank you for being part of this HOP and helping shine a light on this important issue.

  8. Thanks for the post,the day will come with the same rights for all.

  9. Wow! :-D
    I really love your take on things (and being math-challenged I didn't even try to guess that number, LOL)!
    Thanks and here's to the new world - I promise not to gloat or scoff at the next XXXphobic I meet! ;-)

  10. I think I'm following you, Barb - from another Barb!
    John, that was very clever. I liked the random number thing. I started to work it out and then when it did something odd, I gave in. Something out of nothing - I love the premise of that. Yep, we're all different and yet all the same too. I sadly suspect it will be a long time before everyone recognises that.

  11. Thank you so much for participating in the hop. I hope that this helps to spread the word and that one day a hop like this will no longer be needed. I have shown many of the post to my nieces and nephews. We recently have been discussing how damaging bullying is and how innocent remarks can make you be seen as being a bully. One of the things that makes me mad is when I're so gay... pisses me off. These post have helped them already. I heard my nephew stand up to someone that called someone else a hurtful name... I was so proud. Thank you all for helping by sharing hurtful and/sad memories and your personal views/message.
    I pray one day for equality for EVERYONE not just some.

  12. Thanks for participating for this wonderful cause of awareness…I teach high schoolers and this is a topic that we discuss at length. I just want them to be aware and know that they have the power to change the world!

  13. You did it Foster you captured our attention and made us read it, great post!

    I just wanted to say “Thank You” to everyone for letting me be included in your Hop Against Homophobia. I am afraid I am not a talented m/m fiction writer like yourself but I am an avid reader of it.

    Actually when you are a straight girl who writes gay porn for an adult studio it is hard to fit in anywhere so I really appreciated how warmly I was welcomed into your group.

    But this is a cause I feel strongly about and I wanted to let you know I appreciate the opportunity to be included.

    Shadow Sterling

  14. Great post. So glad I didn't waste too much time on your number question. I used to do a lot of those puzzles a few years back and was starting to doubt I was any good at them at all when I couldn't see your pattern.

  15. You had me at "My cats are dicks!" Awesome post!

  16. That has to be one of the very best blog entries I've had the pleasure of reading. I had to read it to my bestie and she loved it just as much. So... to put it briefly, that was effing brilliant!!!!

  17. Great blog. Thanks!


  18. Hello John, first of all, I'm so glad and I thank you for participating in Hop and sharing with us. I hope you don't mind me sharing what I've been sharing in a few blogs. I think it is important that certain things be shared and spread. I came across a study done by a panel of Psychologists and the end result needs to be known out there...

    Imagine if every time some homophobic bigot opened their mouth to insult, this was presented to them!! Oh the joy to see their faces! I am hoping you'll share this with your readers/followers. Perhaps by spreading this the bigots would be afraid of opening their mouths again.

    Sandra Rush

  19. Oops, sorry the link didn't show up. I'll try and break it a couple of places. big- questions/201106/homophobic- men- most-aroused-gay-male-porn

    Just Delete The Spaces... I hope this works because it is very interesting.

  20. I started to see a pattern with those numbers until you went ape and typed in 40,000 plus.

    I am not gay. I love women. However, I believe everyone should have a choice to live their respective lives in a manner they see fit as long as they (me, too) don't break the law or cause harm to another person.

    By the way, I stopped over from Goodreads and started following your blog.

    Cheers, friend!